Your tits are I can't wait for
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
