i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
