I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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