I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
