I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
