I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
