You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
