i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
