He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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