hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I deserve this hangover.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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