Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
