I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
