fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Randomize
