The maid of honor just puked.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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