Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
