actually, I'm a sock model
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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