Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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