i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
worst night to have a conscience
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
