We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
