i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
