If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
