BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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