He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
