You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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