I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Another day, another engagement, another cat
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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