I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm always down for nudity.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
