I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
