That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
