And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Randomize
