So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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