What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize