Do you still have your period?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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