YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
