i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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