Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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