Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
