I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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