all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
