Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
