You work out of a Hotel?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
