At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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