Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
