but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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