He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize