I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
