i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
