its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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