why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize