well I can't set my house on fire every night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
