...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
