Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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