You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
