I have demons in me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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