I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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