Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
