People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
