It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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