Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
